Open Mike Eagle – “Doomed!: Rap Songs About a Relationship That Ends in Every Possible Universe” review

Open Mike Eagle is a 45 year old MC, producer & comedian from Chicago, Illinois known for being a member of the Project Blowed collective. His full-length debut Unapologetic Art Rap wouldn’t arrive until 2010, following it up with Rappers Will Die of Natural Causes & 4NML HSPTL preceding his Mello Music Group debut Dark Comedy. Paul White would later be brought in to produce Hella Personal Film Festival & would depart MMG after Brick Body Kids Still Daydream to form his own label Auto Reverse Records. Anime, Trauma & Divorce alongside Another Triumph of Ghetto Engineering and Neighborhood Gods Unlimited each had their own highlights but I thought his 10th studio LP marking his debut for Backwoodz Studioz distributed Rhymesayers Entertainment would be something special considering Kenny Segal’s involvement.

“Out to Lunch” makes for an outstanding jazz rap intro advising not to let him make your day if that favor cannot be returned whereas “Streets of Rage: Public Arguments Edition” featuring Gothic Tropic hooks up a vibraphone mixed with kicks & snares talking about tapping x to hold the block back like a video game. “Doomed!” turns up the jazziness referencing WWE Hall of Famer, former 2-time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, 3-time WCW World Tag Team Champion, 2-time WCW World Television Champion & 5-time WWE United States Champion Lex Luger.

Hemlock Ernst shows up on the soulful “Unfinished Concrete Initials” talking about the apartment & wallet being left empty when it’s all said & done just before “Don’t Go Look (Battleworld Focus Prayer)” comes to the realization of possibly getting what he asked for over a synth-driven boom bap instrumental. “She Swear I’m Colorblind” featuring billy woods saves my favorite guest appearance for last talking about everyday thing becoming fashioned into weapons while “Science Fiction (Fantasy)” suggests to protect your peace if you want it.

“The Irredeemable Magic Man” kicks off the 2nd half with some bluesy licks talking about a magician who can never return because of his inability to improve while “The Many Hustles of My Lonely Time Traveling Uncle” returns to the boom bap discusses building an empire off selling nokia phone cases. “Trying to Remember What I Aimed At” psychedelically talks about executives & this industry at large being bullshit while “Schrödinger’s Green Room (There But Uninvited)” brings some horns in the picture telling the story of an intrusive man.

After the “It Happens In Every Universe” interlude, “Sweetheart Jail” dustily talks about a cruel & unusual person sitting behind bars who was arrested on a Friday night while “Infinity War Spoilers” gets in his nerdcore bag a bit spoiling the greatest Avengers flick. “Watching a Movie Called Freedom By Myself” concludes Mike’s official Backwoodz/Rhymesayers debut Doomed!: Rap Songs About a Relationship That Ends in Every Possible Universe on a dreamier note talking about the green chasing his blues away.

From the very moment Rhymesayers Entertainment began their distribution partnership with Backwoodz Studioz a year earlier, the whole label’s been on quite the run & Doomed!: Rap Songs About a Relationship That Ends in Every Possible Universe adds to that, joining Dark Comedy along with Hella Personal Film Festival & Brick Body Kids Still Daydream to become a top 5 statement in Open Mike Eagle’s catalog mostly because of the way he uses Kenny Segal’s experimentally jazzy production to paint his impression of a dead world through his abstract lyricism.

Score: 4.5/5

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The Musalini – “The Don & Eye 3” review

New York emcee & Jamla Records signee The Musalini running it back with 9th Wonder for his 14th studio LP. Taking the underground by storm since 2018 after dropping his debut mixtape Musalini Season, he went on to release 3 full-lengths & another tape before signing to TCF Music Group. Since then, he’s made himself home by dropping a few EPs & Return of the Oro in the early part of this decade. In God We Trust produced by 38 Spesh, The Don & Eye alongside its sequel fully produced by 9th Wonder & Pure Izm produced by Khrysis have all quickly become his best material over the past 4 years. Mackaroni produced by Cookin’ Soul and Live & Let Fly produced by DJ Fresh were really enjoyable too, now looking to properly conclude The Don & Eye trilogy.

After the “Musalini’s Stroll” intro, “Lay Low” featuring Le$ links up for a funky opener talking about playing to win & likening themselves to Rick James without the coke whereas “2 Letters” instrumentally takes a more soulful synth-based approach suggesting one would do better if they knew better. “Shrimp Lo Mein” shifts towards a boom bap direction talking about the long nights making him who he is while “Can You Stand the Rain?” featuring Silent Snipers, Swank & Sweata poses that very question.

“Game Cold” takes the opulent boom bap route assuring his partner it’s all love while “Pocket Full” has a groovier approach talking about him & this woman who he quite a bit in common with. “Off the Books” gives off a more chilled out mood explaining he’s only here to win & the eagerness of showing those new around the operation leading into “Memories” combines elements of soul & boom bap talking about a woman he sees in his dreams.

Kicking off the 2nd half, we have Mu$ on “Salt Box” trying to bring balance to the game while “Pretty Lady” featuring Swank reunites the pair goes for a chipmunk soul direction promising their lovers they could be sitting right beside them in the Porsche rollin’ blunts if they really want to be. “Owe It All” takes some elements of jazz rap & soul talking about having to take some time outta his prime to live it up whole “Car Keys” featuring King Draft links up so they can discuss still standing in true fashion.

“Fast Life” flashily dedicates itself to the hustlers doing numbers while “Picture Me Rollin’” featuring Silent Snipers talks about leaving at sunrise like real pros. “Capital Grille” featuring Eli tha Don speaks of always staying at the top of the hill while “Live from Tokyo” talks about reporting directly from Japan’s capital. “Premium Plush” featuring Jaewon & Smoke DZA finds the trio jazzily explaining their preference for everything while “Time Travels” soulfully sends it off making his paper increase.

A huge reason I felt like The Don & Eye 2 was weaker than it’s predecessor was because almost every track having a feature & although not every guest appearance The Don & Eye 3 does the same, I can still put this new chapter above the previous installment since I can appreciate The Musalini being given more room to rock it by himself than he did when he & 9th Wonder last got together in 2022 for what could likely become his finest 2026 solo effort.

Score: 3.5/5

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Stanwill – “$tanley” review

This is the latest & 5th full-length LP from Detroit, Michigan rapper Stanwill. Coming up as 1/3 of the ShittyBoyz with Babytron & TR Dee signing to Lando Bando’s own The Hip Hop Lab Records, he eventually branched out on his own during the COVID-19 pandemic off the debut EP $camwill as well as it’s successor Gifted & the debut mixtape Van Gundy. He also went Full Auto for his 3rd EP & 4ever $hittin’ following Still $hittin’, coming off Stan Always Will for a deeper look at $tanley.

“X Rated” doesn’t have the strongest instrumental to kick things off speaking of having that dog in him prior to “Alzheimer’s” explaining that he’ll stay up all night for the money since he could a give a fuck about catching any rest. “Oscar Mayer” discusses catching the muhfucka talking spicy on his name & putting a bullet in his head just before “Hocus Pocus” featuring T Bone finds the pair trading bars with each other similarly to both of Stan’s last couple albums.

Continuing from there, “Action Packed” hooks up some bells to talk about anyone beefing with the Dog $hit Militia being left on stretchers leading into the piano-driven “Go Figure” brushing off some broke ass hater for staying pressed. “Betta Ask Somebody” explains that he ain’t gonna send disses unless he’s wrapping up corpses while Danny G saves my favorite beat for “I.Y.K.Y.K. (If You Know You Know)” so he & Lil Mello can discuss their respective wealth.

“Motion Picture” wraps up the 1st leg of $tanley going for a mellower vibe instrumentally asking how one’s simultaneously wearing Rick & owing rent prior to “Disco $hit” kicking off the 2nd half combining the Detroit sound & disco talking about no one in his squad sharing racks with each other. “Up 50” featuring Buddyy speaks of others having trouble catching up to the run they’ve been on while “Bruce Wayne” likens himself to the main character of the Warner Bros.-owned DC Entertainment Batman franchise.

The ShittyBoyz get together for “Jahmyr Gibbs” talking about investing in themselves while “2026” expresses confidence of becoming historic. “Same Old Ways” dabbled with plugg & pop rap advising against saying names if he’s being interrogated while “What You Need” decently tackles themes of love. “I Got More” talks about not worrying over shit & “Come With Me” sends off the album with a melodically romantic plugg outro.

Ahead of his very first solo show next weekend, Stanwill comes off D$M’s debut tape a couple weeks earlier to reveal a more introspective side to him including some interesting experimentations with plugg & pop rap towards the backend of $tanley. The pluggier moments somewhat take me back to 4ever $hittin’ & the poppier cuts might not be for everyone although I understand him doing it in the context of those tracks.

Score: 3.5/5

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Internet Money Records – “We All We Needed” review

This is the sophomore effort from Los Angeles, California label & producer collective Internet Money Records founded by Taz Taylor. Releasing their full-length debut B4 the Storm to moderate reception in the summer of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, they would later drop an extended play a couple years later called We All We Got which I found myself enjoying more than majority of people generally did. BabyBartier, ladé, Sir Untre & unitus have all signed to Taz since & he’s having all 4 of them coming to they’re for We All We Needed under their new distribution deal with Mercury Records & Republic Records.

“Lambo, Maybach & Black Truck” by BabyBartier, Sir Untre & unitus produced by Nash opens up with the trio boasting the luxurious whips they’re hopping out of whereas “Helly” finds all 3 of them sticking together over a Cxdy instrumental dedicating this to all the rebels who’re staying down. “Flexed Up” by BabyBartier & Sir Untre combines some synthesizers & 808s so they can talk about being too geeked prior to BabyBartier getting a track of his own with “No Problems” clarifying that he doesn’t have any issues.

As for “Tellin’ Lies”, we have unitus talking about walking with the bag differently than everyone else while “Monster” by BabyBartier & Sir Untre  impressively trades verses with one another on top of a rage beat. “Home” by Sir Untre gives the latter a chance to shine talking about not being broke anymore while “Medusa” by BabyBartier & Sir Untre runs it back over a PROJECT4PLAY instrumental so they can topically get some gangsta shit together.

“Yellow” by BabyBartier talks about being up in the club all night sippin’ lean while “Pop Tags” by BabyBartier & unitus reaches the midway point of We All We Needed explaining that they be fuckin’ so many bad hoes boiling down to them having that swag when walking around over synthesizers & hi-hats. “Ceiling” by BabyBartier hooks up some bells to talk about stacking money higher than it can go while “Steve Nash” by BabyBartier references the Phoenix Suns’ senior advisor of the same name.

Sir Untre joins Bartier for the only single “556” explaining their precise caliber over a Maaly Raw beat while “Do the Most” by unitus talks about the very reason his hoe loves him & putting her in Chanel. “Sing” by ladé marks one of the latter’s only 2 appearances & giving him a solo cut to spit that gangsta shit preceding “Down” by BabyBartier, Sir Untre & unitus was only right until the 3 talking about breaking it off with bitches who have no swag over a Zaan instrumental.

“Words Don’t Hurt, Bullets Do” by Sir Untre winds down We All We Needed’s final moments discussing his preference of letting the stick leave everyone in pain since he’s so pissed that he doesn’t even wanna talk while “Whole Lot” by BabyBartier talks about having so much product where he straight up asks what one would like to buy. “I Love” by Sir Untre expresses the gratification he gets outta hearing gunfire while “Mojo” by BabyBartier & ladé concludes the album talking about getting drugs off a boat.

To my knowledge: Rich Amiri has been primarily holding it down for Internet Money Records within the past couple years so it overdue for Taz to bring some fresh new faces on board & We All We Needed certainly offers a promising future for the imprint. BabyBartier, ladé, Sir Untre & unitus all deliver some of their hungriest performances on wax & I found myself enjoying more out of the production than I did when Bartier made his major label debut this spring.

Score: 3.5/5

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Trippie Redd – “NDA” review

Canton, Ohio rapper & singer/songwriter Trippie Redd making his Atlantic Records debut with his 7th studio LP. Coming up almost a decade ago off the first 2 installments of the A Love Letter to You mixtape series, the kid would continue to grow after dropping his full-length debut Life’s a Trip & then A Love Letter to You 3 the following year. However, the quality of his music started to take a nosedive given the mediocrity of both ! & A Love Letter to You 4. If you thought it couldn’t get any worse, Pegasus was a bloated mess & the Travis Barker-produced pop punk foray Neon Shark vs. Pegasus is barely better. Trip at Knight was ok & Mansion Musik took a step down in quality, releasing NDA after multiple delays.

“Merch It” begins with a decently cloudy intro talking about things & people changing except for him whereas “Yopstar” combines pop rap & trap likening himself to a rockstar. “Paperbag Boy”featuring Young Thug finds the pair over a rage-inducing instrumental talking about not needing any friends because all they have is themselves just before “V-12” maintains the hypertrap elements hoppin’ in a wide body & spending paper on his folks.

We have “All My Life” by K-Ci & JoJo being sampled during “Chanely” telling his partner he loves the way she walks & speaks leading into “Swagger”incorporating more rage beats talking about his girl fuckin’ with a real one. “Pourin’ 4s” produced by thr6x gets on some hazy late night vibes discussing his loyalty & fame while “Uncle Phil” featuring Young Thug reunites the 2 for a murky gangsta rap cut I liked more than the “Paperbag Boy” single.

“For Her” samples “I’ll Take Care of U” by the late Gil Scott-Heron atmospherically talking about a woman who’s possessive riding for him while “Free Melly” calls for YNW Melly’s freedom, who performs the hook. “Say What” has a moodier alternative R&B groove to it admitting that his intuition has been telling him to do shit differently while “Good Chance” featuring BigXthaPlug comes through mediocrely shrugging off those thinkin’ none of them are built like that.

thr6x returns behind the boards for “Can’t Believe It” talking about wishing ill on no one & people being unaware of the demons he’s seeing while “How Much X?” featuring Tory Lanez cooks with 10 trap phones together asking for the cost of ecstasy. “Meet the Redds” drew some controversy wasting an ATL Jacob beat on the opening line “Fuck these lame n****s, we gon’ lynch ’em like the Klan” while “Kidding Me” featuring 9 Vicious talks about pulling up with choppers.

“I Got Everything” was much salvageable than “Meet the Redds” looking back on having nothing & eventually over a boom bap-esque instrumental having it all while “Fine Shit” featuring Lil Wayne flips “Just Fine” by Mary J. Blige talking about how beautiful their respective lovers are. “No Way” takes a more sexual approach topically declaring himself a young Pootie Tang the way he slayin’ 3 hoes while “MTV” featuring Rob49 talks about killing entire jungles.

Ski Mask the Slump God appears for “Break It In” so they can get materialistic while “Slime Too” samples “Just for Now” by Imogen Heap talking about doing what he wants. “Pink Toes” hits us with a 2-parter Hitmaka cooked up looking to get sexually active but after “Switches & Fentanyl” featuring NoCap talks about hiding their emotions in their cup, “I’m Sorry Baby” finishes NDA with a public apology to Trippie’s baby momma Coi Leray.

Part of the reason I get skeptical whenever Trippie Redd comes out with new music in is because of him bloating the Hell outta his last few albums amassing a large number of guests & mostly underwhelming production, which NDA feels like another addition to the pile. It’s unfortunate too because I really do think we could’ve gotten something greater if you took the best trap, pop rap, alternative R&B & rage moments from each disc & left all the filler on the cutting room floor.

Score: 2.5/5

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B-Movie Millionaires – “It Made Sense at the Time” review

United Kingdom hip hop duo the B-Movie Millionaires consisting of Manchester, England emcee Black Josh alongside Runcorn, Cheshire emcee/producer & Blah Records founder Lee Scott are back top drop a sophomore effort. Known for being members of the Cult of the Damned collective, these guys would make their eponymous debut in 2015 with an extended play & had Sam Zircon fully produce their 2018 full-length debut Attack of the 50,000ft Sweg Lawds from Outer Space. Damn near a decade later, It Made Sense at the Time has come months succeeding its original announcement.

“ICL” produced by King Kashmere has somewhat of a lo-fi boom bap vibe instrumentally opens up with them talking about answering to no one whereas “LAA” brings Spectacular Diagnostics behind the boards for a cavernous hardcore hip hop track waking up the block with the bass blarin’ their systems. “SOZ” combines a flute with kicks & snares so both Josh & Lee can keep spitting lyrical venom leading into “HEX” featuring Sly Moon talking about staying 10 steps ahead of the rest.

As for “MED”, we have the Millionaires over a mellow Lee Scott beat explaining their music to be medicinal rather than merely dope just before “316” featuring [Nickelus F] morbidly boasts about them being lyrical juggernauts. “REX” featuring Quelle Chris declares themselves kings of the apocalypse over a piano-driven instrumental to get the 2nd half going while the woodwind-infused “KEV” talks about their wishes of caring more than they do.

“SOL” featuring Granuja & Mir Nicolas gets bilingual over an unsettlingly fuzzy beat while “BAR” references 2-time WWE Hall of Famer, former 16-time WWE world champion, WWE Intercontinental Champion, 6-time WWE United States Champion, 6-time WWE tag team champion & 9-time NWA World’s Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair. “SMH” continues the hardcore penmanship but once “HIM” featuring BeTheGun jazzily talks about being those dudes, “TTO” featuring Bill Shakes as well as King Grubb & Sly Moon wraps up It Made Sense at the Time with a Cult posse cut.

A lot has happened to Black Josh & Lee Scott since Attack of the 50,000ft Sweg Lawds from Outer Space came out 8 years ago, so It Made Sense at the Time certainly lives up to it’s name considering the fact Spectacular Diagnostics handled a great bulk of the production coming fresh off the Cult of the Damned’s 4th album Simony this past spring. The B-Movie Millionaires’ chemistry doesn’t lose any steam & I appreciate them increasing the number of guest appearances.

Score: 4/5

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Paul Wall & Termanology – “Repeat Repeat Repeat” review

Paul Wall & Termanology finishing the trilogy with their 3rd collaborative studio LP. One hails from Houston, Texas & the other coming straight out of Boston, Massachusetts. However, both of them have been holding it down for the culture for the past 2 decades with their insane work ethics & albums like The People’s Champ or Politics as Usual. They’ve worked with one another a few times within the last couple years & took their chemistry to new heights with Start 2 Finish, following up the sequel Start Finish Repeat with Repeat Repeat Repeat.

“3-Peat” produced by DJ Fresh begins with a soulful boom bap instrumental talking about shit being plug & play to them at this point whereas “Feeling” featuring TrillStatik finds the quartet jazzily discussing their own individual high-ons. “Blessings” has 1982 accompanying Paul Wall & Masspike Miles encouraging all to focus on themselves because stressing over the next man would cause self-destruction while “Catch Me If You Can” featuring Le$ talks about riding clean because they got it made.

Dame Grease jumps behind the boards for “Make Me Feel” pretty much boasting how fresh both of them are just before “You Believe in You” wraps up the 1st half compassionately speaking directly towards the people who feel like they can’t go on in life & letting hard times get them down. The title track returns to the boom bap thanks to Statik Selektah expressing annoyance towards the fraudulent while “Pray for the Weak” featuring NEMS gets everyone on some delightfully murderous battle rap shit.

“Chasing Gold” featuring Wais P demands to point them to the paper soon as possible while “Back in Paris” runs it back 1 last time with DJ Fresh out in France keeping the hustle on continuous repeat. “Stoned Island” pairs S.T.R.E.E.T. with Paul Wall bringing a jazzier edge to the table talking about grinding daily & the closing track “Trill on Top” talks about the trillest muhfuckas always ending up taking over the world 1 way or another.

Start 2 Finish & Start Finish Repeat were both highly impressive to me as someone who’s been a fan of both Paul Wall & Termanology for some time, but Repeat Repeat Repeat could likely become the weakest installment of this whole saga they had going for 4 years already. It’s quantity of guests are comparable to that of it’s predecessors & the chemistry between both artists are great except some of the production & features miss at times.

Score: 3/5

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Blaze Ya Dead Homie – “Dead Serious” review

Mt. Clemens, Michigan rapper Blaze Ya Dead Homie awakening from a 6 year slumber for his 8th studio LP. Originally 1/2 of the 2 Krazy Devils, the Insane Clown Posse eventually signed him to Psychopathic Records & his eponymous debut EP as well as his full-length debut 1 Less G n da Hood would become some of the hatchet’s most beloved material at the turn of the millennium. Colton Grundy: Tha Undying introduced us to his alter-ego & Clockwork Gray received the same praise as his earlier material, departing Psychopathic after the Mike E. Clark-produced Gang Rags to make the sequel Reborn the inaugural release for his childhood friends Twiztid’s label Majik Ninja Entertainment in tandem with his own imprint Grundy Entertainment. It’s already been a decade since The Casket Factory & coming off Cadaver on Devil’s Night 2020, he’s Dead Serious regarding a comeback.

After “That Dead Shit” intro, “Sunday Morning” produced by The R.O.C. opens up with Colton talking about having huge plans on top of this g-funk beat whereas “Grind” by Triple Threat embraces a trap vibe instrumentally discussing their hustle. “Lies” keeps the hi-hats rolling addressing an individual who he doesn’t want to associate himself with anymore leading into the final single “The Voice in My Head” awkwardly taking heavy inspiration from Jelly Roll thanks to Grady Finch.

“X’s on Eyes” continues from there descending deeper towards madness over a dark Fritz the Cat beat just before the title track returns to a trap sound sending a message towards people laughing & making jokes directed at him. “At Times” by Zodiac MPrint talks about a kinda love that can be occasionally cynical & after “Bloody” gets murderous over a chaotic instrumental Native World Inc. in-house producer DJ Hazey made, we have Blaze demanding his respect on “All Hail” over a rap rock beat.

“Negative” has some cool gangsta rap themes regardless of the instrumental not blowing me away while “Farewell” talks about his desire of wanting to come back to life & attempts of contacting an individual from beyond the grave. “Spending Time” was another weak moment for me detailing a woman who’s constantly on his mind but once “Hell’s Coming” by Drive-By featuring Boondox cautions wrath upon everyone, “Armed & Dangerous” concludes with a gangsta rap/rap rock outro although I really enjoyed Stir Crazy’s remix of “No Tomorrow”.

Most ninjas I knew would say Cadaver ranks at the bottom of Blaze Ya Dead Homie’s catalog so to hear him call Dead Serious some of his favorite music he’s ever recorded had me hoping it be superior & I can thankfully confirm that to be the case although I’m still weary of the Eastside Ninjas’ upcoming sophomore effort Return of the Lotus. The production certainly hits harder than it did during the COVID-19 pandemic when the world was locked down & Blaze makes it clear that his musical focus hasn’t changed a bit since the early days of his career.

Score: 3.5/5

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Malakeye – “The Fallen Choir” review

Yes, the newest Long Live Evil recording artist Malakeye has properly introduced himself to the underground wicked shit scene for his full-length studio debut. Not much is known about him past this point other than the almighty Alla Xul Elu signing them to their independent label a few months ago & The Fallen Choir would be arriving the weekend prior of the 26th annual Gathering of the Juggalos organized by Psychopathic Records, which gives the world some time to get familiar with him until LLE performs a collective set at the festival.

After the “Sci Co City” intro, “Halo in the Fire” opens up with a boom bap beat produced by Billy Obey talking about being an angel in the streets whereas “Sorrow in a Smokey Room” passionate talks about a weight on your chest that makes one feel like they’re choking. “A Funeral Tune” has a cumbersome boom bap tone instrumentally singing for the dead & realizing he ain’t making it back to heaven just before “Lullabyes for the Lost” talks about his death fracturing time itself.

“A Liar’s Promise” was a wigsplitting lead single admitting that he feels insane because of him constantly walking with his screaming demons leading into “Afterlife of Ashes” returning to the boom bap with some organs talking about being one’s impending doom. “Faithful Lies of Mine” discusses the possibility of facing the very monster he’s become while “Fallen from Grace” continues the 2nd act of the LP talks about seeing people becoming fearful when looking at him.

Meanwhile on “Death’s My Shadow”, we have Malakeye passionately discussing the grim reaper following him everywhere he goes while “Too Late for Us” talks about the desire everyone has of erasing all of the mistakes they’ve made throughout their lives. “Don’t Let Go of the Light” brings a guitar into the fold singing of holding onto pieces of ourselves that we can’t seem to leave behind us & “Running in Place” concludes The Fallen Choir talking about feeling misplaced in life.

Choosing to exile from Heaven, the latest addition to the Long Live Evil roster Malakeye ascends again to the stage having the voices of angels in his head who he calls The Fallen Choir accompanying him for the beginning of what I believe will be an exciting career for him. He prepares to join Xul, the Super Famous Fun Time Guys & S.O.N next week by artistically establishing himself to be significantly melodic than his LLE counterparts & the production whipping up a new sound for the Evil empire.

Score: 4/5

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Pat McAfee – “The Diary of a Polarizing Figure” review

Pat McAfee is a 39 year old sports analyst, color commentator, former professional wrestler, former professional football punter & kickoff specialist from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania by way of Indianapolis, Indiana who played in the NFL between 2009-2016 for the Indianapolis Colts. He would later spend the next decade establishing himself as a sports analyst & had a run in the WME Group-owned TKO Group Holdings division WWE until WrestleMania XLII this spring. However, he’s having country star ERNEST helping him out for a full-length studio debut.

“Pitbull & Mugshot” pretty much begins with what you can expect singing over a country trap fusion about his dog Valerie who passed away whereas “Blue Collar Symphony” treads the country rock waters for a tacky ode to the working man, calling for the rest to get out their way. “Good Times” radiates a heavy bro-country vibe singing about wanting to drink whiskey in a smokey room with a guitar & a fiddle just before “Young Me” incorporates some pianos for an audio letter to his younger self.

Meanwhile on “Polarizing Figure”, we have Pat asking himself whether he’s amongst the greats or the opposite mutating elements of trap & country once more leading into “Outlaws” turning the country rock influences back up to declare himself a renegade. “Oops” wraps up the 1st act hitting us with a gross country rap experimentation talking about stirring the pot like he usually is while “Smokin’” discusses his love for weed although he certainly ain’t no Willie Nelson.

“No One Ever Knows” sings about life being good since he woke up today while “Rich as Shit” annoyingly gloats about ESPN giving him a $65M raise. “Big Rain Coming” sings about no longer wasting mornings worrying over the evening while “You’re Alive” ponders if anyone’s actually living these days. “Click Clack” has a piano-driven trap flare to it talking about stealing the show & “Cheers to the South” discusses celebrating life at every opportunity.

As someone who used to watch The Pat McAfee Show on YouTube until ESPN picked up the syndication rights, it wouldn’t be a surprise to me whatsoever if The Diary of a Polarizing Figure winds up becoming 2026’s worst country album. From the bro-country production to the songwriting & grating vocal performances, I sincerely didn’t get a single second of enjoyment outta this & would prefer if Pat McAfee stuck to sports analytics than making music ever again.

Score: 0/5

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